Lost~~~

I'm lost...i really really don't know whether i really do have feelings for him...i mean....we've been tuition mates since std3...and its really kind of weird to have feelings for each other after so many donkey years knowing each other....and also coz he's HS's ex...somehow i have that guilty feeling gnawing at my conscience when i think about it....gives me the feeling that i'm betraying my best buddy if i were to have any close relationships with him other than being normal friends...i asked him before about the reason...and he claims that its because we've known each other for so long already and we've kind of understand each other a lot....but....ahhh...i dunno...i'm lost about my own feelings....but honestly i do not want to think about these relationship stuffs for the time being...once experience is enough for me....and studies are still the most important thing for now....he knows fairly well...so luckily he's a considerate person enough to not keep nagging me about this issue...he's also the one to be always supporting me during exams and difficult periods although he's also busy at work way far in Genting...haiz.....gonna keep this issue aside...i'll just let God make the decision~~