A plain normal NOBODY

Sigh...yea...I didn't say much about it to anyone....not even my own best fren...but i'm jz plain unhappy...tat's all..really dunno wat's the reason...jz have the kinda feeling that my circle of frens is getting smaller & smaller ever...is it my own hallucination?? Or maybe it has became the truth?? Is it caused by my own attitude?? Or had i overdone everything?? Really have lost my mind on that la...yet i'm perfectly sure my attitude of dealing with frens have never changed...i'm still the same Joanne as ever...yet i jz cant get to mix around with more frens jz like wat i've always succeed in doin it for the past few years...& I always feel neglected...& i'm always left out in whatever activities or discussions...those ppl I mixed with hav their own frens anyway...& I am a real nobody...& I'm sure I'm not that kind of person like those gals...I need time...yet no one give me time to mix around...great feeling tat is huh...?? No one cared for me & wat I get in return is NOTHING..!!! Sigh...I'm under stress with LOTS of unhappiness...I really dunno wat to do anymore...

~I'M A NOBODY~

UNHAPPY Choir Farewell

Sigh....wat i say only is that this farewell seemed to be the most unhappy one i ever had in my life...i jz feel that i'm a left-outer & a nobody in choir...during the whole night i never ate the buffet (its my dinner actually), played any games or get crazy together with them....i jz busied myself by holding cameras & not to mention taking a few pics with some of them la....but that's all i did....yet nobody cared whether i did anything with them....pn tong is exceptional la....others?? As if they'll care....Even the organizing committee....they NEVER tell me whatever is going to happen....the whole programme & bla bla bla....& i'm as blur as ever even though i'm one of the O.C....it was embarassing when others non-O.C asked me questions about the whole programme....& obviously i am sad too....i feel neglected, left out, not being cared....great feeling is tat....plus those girls obviously are not my type....they wore....my gosh...!! EXTREME formal for a farewell party ONLY...& they criticised me for being too casual wear....GREAT!!! I'm wearing a blouse & a skirt....wat MORE do they expect?? Excuse me la dears...its only a FAREWELL PARTY....not that its a wedding or huge functions....Expect me to wear something that i show everything from top to toe?? IDIOTS...!!! Even asked me to change....the heck i care..!!! They're jz plain idiots....Ok...i did feel guilty as i'm Hoe's dance partner to see him wearing SOooo formal (well....at least MORE formal than mine)...& i sure sense the unhapiness in him as he compared normal + plain me with other beautiful + elegant gals...but tat's wat i can do since i never get to go home with my PRS test till 4pm somethin...so dun get angry with me after i've apologised allot of times...u wanna get mad i oso dun care already..!! I jz dont feel happy in any of the clubs i joined....counselling pun macam tu...archery too...but at least a BIT better....VAD 7 going to be one of those too....Man..!!! I really dunno how i can stand such F6 life for the next 1 yr & 3 months...sigh.......