Tuesday, August 07, 2018

3 years...

What happened for the past 3 years is not really what I expected or imagined to have happened in my marriage life.
Thank you for showing me who you really are.
I hope God will tell you what mistake you have made. And if you still don't fix it, you will regret for the rest of your life.
I hate you, but I still love you, and that's exactly the only reason I forgive you and let you do anything to your heart's desire, even though its really not what I want.
I hate you for taking away my freedom, my youth, my time I want to spend with my loved ones. But I hate the existence of the girls as well for making your heart sway and do things you hate. There might be a time where you'd rather choose them over me, but responsibility pulled you back.

Shall I just release you of your responsibility so I do not have to see all these ugly pictures of the world anymore? Your world might be prettier without me in the picture.

What is the meaning of having sex?

Sex to you might be just an action for you to have that bliss feeling. 你反正是不会吃亏的那一方。

But to me, having sex with someone is a way to be intimate with one another and to be closer to the other.

If to you, having sex is just the way of having fun, and you are still not ready to build a family with me as how I have dreamt of doing so with you, then whats the point of doing it with me then?

You always said you love me. Ask yourself, if i am an ugly woman with bad body shape (which shall most probably happen if ever I get pregnant), will you still love me as before? If no, what exactly you love me about? Just because I'm already married to you and so you have the sense of responsibility?

Sorry 我不想再做被你吃亏的另一半. Sorry I didn't agree to this marriage so that you will feel you need to be responsible

How I wish all the girls who are interested in you or had anything to do with you just disappear from this world. Forever. Including me.

You have already hurt me enough

一次又一次的原谅只带给我一次又一次的伤害。
好心寒~

Monday, August 06, 2018

绝望。。。

日也哭, 夜也哭。。已经哭到眼泪都留尽了, 却得不回以前那平安的生活。
为什么世界上会有其他不要脸的女人? 跟我抢老公?
为什么这种我曾天真的以为只会发生在其他家庭身上的事, 也毫无预警的发生在我的身上?
是上帝给我们的考验? 还是对我做过什么过错的惩罚?
我真希望把时间倒流。若可以, 我会选择另一条没那么刻苦的路, 对自己好一点, 当然也不用在家人面前戴着假面具, 还要替你说好话。

我扪心自问无愧。那你呢? 在你跟她滚在被里时, 到底头脑在想什么? 我在你心目中就这么的渺小? 我的存在对你而言是为了什么? 愧疚感? 责任? 那么爱情到底还存在吗?

每次提起这件事, 你就觉得我爱把旧事重提, 特地要挑你的刺, 专门不要放过你。可是, 我还是觉得很荒唐, 怎么人的心这么脆弱? 明明爱着一个人, 还是可以把心再分割给另一个人。人也就这么的肤浅, 我唯一输她的就是美貌跟身材。

我很不甘心! 一个玩完了, 还有下一个。这个游戏会持续到什么时候? 我的耐心和等待要被用尽了。。。我不玩下去了。。

很可能昨天的大餐也会是我为你做的最后一餐。。。