Frustrations

Haiz...choir had a meeting today before school dismissal...kononnya general meeting...but its should be said as main-committees-scolding & denying-blames meeting...?? Ok...i'm not anti-ing nor pro-ing the main committees even though i'm one of the comms...but i really cant stand their i'm-always-right attitude...as they've said...everyone has their own faults...but what they did when the juniors said out their dissatisfaction towards the main comms attitude is that they start defending themselves...goodness...kata ada fault sendiri...everyone sure ada kesalahan....in the end they NEVER admit & keep denying & defending...R-U-B-B-I-S-H!!! And whenever that stupid vice pres & secretary scold people...for sure cry...cry babies...trying to get sympathy only...tak malu ke....tu kulit muka memang cukup tebal la tu....ish~~!!! I really cant tahan le that day...so instead of standing with those comms in front of the juniors....i took my homework to the back of the lecture hall & do....dowanna get involved...plus its none of my business also...i'm the last person to noe anything anyway...so y should i get myself into UNNECESSARY troubles?? Yea...i admit...i wasn't happy EVER SINCE i joined choir...in the beginning i joined choir because i cant join chinese orchestra & i was yearning for the same teamwork spirit as i've endured throughout the 5 yrs i had in AMC's chinese orchestra..but in the end...when i've joined choir....i knew i did the wrong decision....but its late for me to regret...so i continued to survive in choir...i was alone in there...alwiz the one who's left behind...last comm to know anything...alwiz the one to get scolded even though there's others having the same faults as me...whenever i didn't attend choir for a few times i'm being said that i wanna quit choir =.=" no one to support me in choir....everyone's so darn fake in there...especially the main comms...& its really surprising if one of them ever approached me & ask me personal questions....that day i really have the urge of blurting everything out in front of everyone when the main comms asked who else has anything to say....but i controlled myself...because i dont wanna make matters worse...plus its only a few months more for me to stay in choir...so dont wanna make a chaos...better to keep quiet...do my part & that's it...whatever dissatisfaction i just keep it....& i promise myself....i'll never return to train Sam Tet choir after i've left it...NEVER....because i know whatever i did it equals to nothing...no one to appreciate as they think it as my job & responsibility to do it as a musical director plus pianist....i don't need to train the bass-es since i'm in the alto....i'm not a sectional leader too...so i was thinking of what an idiot i am to waste my time...my voice...my temper on these ungrateful brats...?? If not for my passion towards music...if not for the teamwork spirit i'm looking for....i wouldn't have done all these...i wouldn't have keep persuading Kevin not to quit choir as he's the one influencing everyone...the only senior left also ever since JiaYi & Kar Kit left...but what did i get in the end?? NOTHING!!! & why am i so stupid to continue staying in choir when i've to suffer so much..?? I don't know....no idea at all...the only thing i can describe myself is PLAIN S-T-U-P-I-D-I-T-Y~~~