Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. I'm sure you've heard that before... but so many people that I have seen in my clinic are in a relationship with a person that they don't trust as far as they could throw!
You want to be in a relationship that is red and pink with love, white with calmness and peace and yellow with happiness and fun. What you DO NOT want is to be blue with sadness, green with jealousy when they talk to another person or black and low because your don't trust your partner.
The word trust can cover so many different areas in a relationship - from infidelity to just keeping your word on the little things.... because you know sometimes it is just the little white lies that can cause huge trust issues between partners.... Because if they didn't tell you the truth about something small and insignificant... then that can cause the subconscious mind to wonder what else they might not have been honest about... and when a person starts to question and their level of trust is jeopardized... then the relationship can get into rocky ground!!
There are many many different reasons why you may have trust issues in your relationship.... It could be that your partner has a dodgy past record when it comes to trust and you are worried that if they can do it to someone else - they could do it to you too!! Or maybe they weren't totally trust worthy at some point in your relationship before - and although they say they have turned over a new leaf - you still have that little niggle of trust worry in your subconscious mind... which can be physically felt as a fear in your belly. Alternatively, it could just be your gut feeling or intuition that makes you worry about how honest and trustworthy they are in the relationship.... You see, there are so many ways that a lack of trust can enter into a relationship.
Have you ever thought about the option that maybe they are in fact trustworthy and its you that has the trust problem?! It could be because you have been hurt in the past by being lied or cheated on.... And because of that, you have difficulty in trusting your new partner. Now... if that's the case - you really need to take a step back and reevaluate your thoughts and actions before your good relationship goes down the swanny! If your new partner has no reason not to be trusted and they are getting the brunt of your trust issues due to your previous relationship or maybe even family issues... then perhaps its something you need to look at more closely and deal with before Mr or Ms new-relationship-person, feels un-trusted, questioned and eventually unloved for no good reason of their own. Its not fair, and I'm sure you wouldn't like to be treated a certain way because of something there Ex partner had done?!?!
Think about it for a moment - and I mean really think about it.... I'm sure that deep down inside your mind you know whether it is your own personal trust issues from your own past experiences or whether it is them that is causing the breakdown of trust in your current relationship? Its very very important to be honest with yourself in this case - because if it is stemming from you, and your partner really isn't the cause of the mistrust issues in the relationship - then its something you have to deal with as soon as possible before you loose them, and if that happens... whoever or whatever caused you to feel these trust problems originally... will STILL be in control of your life and how you feel. You need to be in control of your self and current life situation.
Trust. The key to a successful relationship. If you have any niggle issues with trust in your relationship... talk them out. Sit down and have a real conversation and let your partner know and understand how you are feeling. If your feelings are justified and the person you are with is truly not trustworthy, if you have caught them lying or cheating on you - get out of the relationship - because baby... it ain't ever gonna work without full and complete trust.
The bottom line is - if you don't have an even level of trust between each other - neither of you will ever be happy!!
2 comments:
It is excellent thought. In this modern word there is a cricis of trust. Trust is the base of any relationship.
Nice post! I love the colour imagery. It says a lot about you and how you interpret the world. I identify with what you said. I think you're right about where DIS-trust comes from and I feel that it may also be a combination of these things. In the end though, you have to come to terms with your own mistrust and whether or not you can continue to live with it. Ignoring your intuition isn't healthy but losing someone because of mere insecurity is a sad thought too. Thanks for making me ponder it more with new perspective and showing me I'm not alone.
:)
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