Happy or sad...?

I'm not at ease at all now...after I've found out that he has a gf now already...and turns out it's his ex gf many years back when he broke up with her after he found out that he had feelings for me...I wonder what happened between them...I'm so blurrrrr~~~ Hm...somehow wondering myself whether I should feel relieved now that he finally found someone instead of still waiting for me to accept him after soooo many years..?? Or should I feel sad as I'm starting to have feelings for him...? Sigh...its just that the time ain't right yet...not now...not yet..not when I'm focusing my life on my studies now...just cant afford to get myself involved..no matter whether he can understand why I don't do so even though I'm yearning for someone to be always beside me...besides my own family...Zoo V's right..I'm soooo unsure about what I really want.....