fear...

I so so so dearly hope my intuition aint correct...his every action...his every words...seemed to pinpoint at me...and he always do like putting his hand on my shoulder or hand whenever he talks to me...maybe i'm a bit perasan la...but...for what i noticed...he doesnt do that to other girls...not even her who he had known longer than he had known me...and today in library he even keep asking innocent questions like whether i've bf before or not...now available or not...even asking what i'm planning to eat for dinner...and these questions he asked when my gal fren has left...and left me with him and another guy who has a gf already...ok...I dun care what he's thinking....but today I've stated clearly that I won't get involved in any relationship in this whole 5yrs...study is the most important thing now...no time for all these anyway...i'm starting to get the stress from studying...so don't give me any more troubles like this la~~~ I'm TIRED~~~~ and FEAR of commitments....we MAY be best friends...but definitely not anything closer than that...FULLSTOP!!!

Bad sleep day

Ahh....sleepless night again...havent experienced it since I was here at UCSI...probably effects from the coffee I had just now during dinner -.-' Serves me right!! Haiz...should have known that caffeine still have effects on me...giving me insomnia...tomorrow sure to wake up late...or else abnormal sleeping pattern again which i'll be waking up real early tomoro...and that results in more and more PANDA EYES @-@ But its good too la...at least I studied alot...downloaded whatever I want...chatted with zoo v and vshin...and played Spider Solitaire until I'm great at it...lolz =P Those were what i've done for the past few hours after I was back from church + dinner with Ee Ling...really amazing how can I even memorise everything while doing...ahem....THOSE things also ;p Two more chapters to go for next week's formative assessment....then tomoro start all over again PLUS read up the additional notes I copied during lectures...hope I've sufficient time...but nothing is there to bother my studies anymore le...

*Thank you God for leading me this far. I pray that God will bless me through my FIRST formative assessment. Bless me with confidence and more time for studies. In Jesus name I pray. Amen*

Church service

1st time went to church today after SOOoooo many yrs...yeahh...almost 10yrs I haven't been to church...and after LOADS of persuading from ernie, jason and zoo v...hehe...finally got persuaded by my senior here...he was my senior way back in form 6...didn't actually know him that time but got to know him here since he was my medicine course senior....anyway...he's leaving for Russia next month already....

Anyway....back to main point...went to church today...his church actually...very near my uni...Gospel Esplosion Presbysterian Church (GEPC)...and service's from 5-7pm...well...overall it's not bad...but I kinda prefer the traditional ones...where they don't use rock band to perform the songs...but guess its difficult to meet that kind of church nowadays already la...except for my sis's church in Kajang la...but that's like SOooooo far...anyway...new experience la...not bad for the 1st time..at least I have my senior with me...and...sure...guess I just stick to this church la...fine with me once I get more used to it...AND...must must remember to bring along my jacket next time I go....so darn cold there...my lips almost went whitish blue again like what I had during PBL last week....BRRRRrrrr~~~

new life in uni ==> UCSI

Me currently studying at UCSI...Doctor of Medicine programme....all together 5yrs...but it'll be 2yrs here in KL campus and last 3yrs at Terengganu campus where we'll be visiting hospitals there...sounds cool....but tensions coming up already although its only the 1st week...3rd week we'll be having our 1st assessment =S Last week was orientation week...not bad for the orientation as the seniors are great...but hurt my knee again on Sat when we played station games...and yet we won 1st prize considering the fact that we also had the least members in our team besides my knee giving me trouble again =D For 1st prize we got 70 bucks...so naturally we divided the money between us 3...hehe....

Ah...forgotten to mention one thing...i'm not alone in UCSI...i've my classmate with me too....Teh Yu Leong...my 2yrs classmate back in form6...and he's also my senior's lil bro...so basically i've known him almost ever since form2 la when we joined Perak Chinese Orchestra together and participate in performances...I've also Wei Kit, my tuition mate since we're in form1 studying here....but he's in pharmacy la...so not much chance to meet each other...but at least i know he's here so i dun feel that lonely anymore la..

Haiz....assessment's coming up next next Fri...hopefully i'll do ok in that...But what made me REALLY happy is that...I'M GOING HOME THIS FRIDAY!!!! So so so so miss everything in Ipoh....most is my parents...then my home....my lovely cosy bed...my friends who're still in ipoh...would really love to hang out with them...but i still rather accompany my parents more =D YEAY~~~~~~

20th March 2008, Friday

Went to watch Kung Fu Panda with zoo v and wei kit today....and yeahh..sounded like a weird gang huh...i know wei kit and zoo v...but they don't know each other at all....hahaha...its kind of lucky Jason didn't join us...else it'll be kind of awkward...my fault le...but me really lazy to go out so many times le =P Kung Fu Panda's real nice though....lolz....laughed like hell....and the OST's great....cheers to Hans Zimmer and John Powell~~~

YAY!!! Germany had burnt Portugal yesterday...so Germany's be playing the semi...gonna see who'll win tonight's match...either Croatia or Turkey....but i root for Croatia...and sure it'll gonna be an interesting match IF Croatia's against Germany again during semi....whoa.......Germany cannot lose!!! Yesterday's match too bad cant watch on free tv le...sure muz be interesting...Germany won by 3-2...1st goal by Schweinsteiger, 2nd goal by Klose and 3rd goal by BALLACK!!! GERMANY RULEZ~~~~~

Leaving Ipoh in 2weeks time

Yeahh.....confirmed going to UCSI and study medicine....miracle really does not happen on me....I was offered a course in a local university, UMS...but it aint the course I wanted...they gave me Pengeluaran Ternakan...guess its something to do alot with poultry...lolz...I'm more interested in treating patients than to find ways of hatching chickens, cows, goats, etc...rather spend more money studying in a private uni than to study something I've completely no idea what's it all about and no interest in it all....So...will be leaving for UCSI on the 6th of July...which is about 2weeks from today...Ahh...will miss Ipoh so much...family..frens..food (wakekeke =P)...Have been meeting up with friends these few days as all of us will be leaving for uni...we went for movies, karaoke and stuffs...Tomorrow will be going for Kung Fu Panda with zoo v, wei kit and maybe jason....this uncle jas still have not make up his mind whether he's able to make it tomorrow -.-'

ARGH~~!!! So emo now...40 more minutes to the match between Germany and Portugal....and I CANT WATCH IT!!!!!! Stupid free tv....why don't they show live telecast of the match....only shown on ASTRO....and we don't have ASTRO at home...sobz~~ GERMANY RULEZ~~~~!!!!! Muz burn Portugal!!!! Ballack, Podolski, Klose, Lahm, Lehmann will surely burn Ronaldo!!!!

sleepless nights...

Aww...shucks...!! Went to Kopitiam with parents just now for a late dinner....ate a bit only before that before the seminar starts...went to accompany my mum and spend one hour listening to a seminar which I don't understand most of it...lolz...the talk is organised by Pacific Mutual Fund...so its mainly on Malaysia's economy growth and talked about fund strategy...its a miracle I didn't actually drop from drowsiness...just spend the time trying to figure out what's the speaker talking about only...Anyway...back to the Kopitiam part...i drank coffee!!! Gosh!!! Gonna have a sleepless night tonight again...apparently I cant drink caffeine before sleep...I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SLEEP!!! @-@ Already been having sleepless nights for almost a week...haiz...guess I'm really worried about getting into uni la...scared of adaptation...scared of social life...sure will be lonely if going to UCSI...plus studying medicine there...even if zw comes to join me also that'll will be months later...and different course too...and most important....i'll miss home loads!! Not to mention ipoh food...friends...family...my pets...EVERYTHING!!! Sigh...this year alot of my friends from overseas also coming back...wei yao from Germany coming back in August...he'll be bringing back the candle cups that he purposely bought for me when I requested for them...hehe...so will be meeting up with him if that is possible....then it's my dearie Ernie coming back end of this year...FINALLY~~!!! Hopefully I'll be in Ipoh that time...sure wanna meet up with her the most...haven't been seeing for years...almost....hahahaha...only got to hear her voice only la...which is only few months once when she called me or I called her...haizzzz~~~ Ipoh too much things for me to miss le~~~~~

cute sms

This afternoon while I was dreaming away...my junior sent me a sms which I think its very funny...

小强去面试，经理给他填写应征表格，经理看后当场吐血，董事长更是晕倒。

应征表格

姓名：父母取的
年龄：不小了
身高：很高
体重：蛮重的
居住地：家里咯
电话：Sony Ericson 牌
电子邮件：朋友帮我申请的
上班时间：越短越好
应聘职位：一位
学历：如果毕业的话，有高中学历
语言能力：我很爱吹水
兴趣：赌博
生日：还没到
经历：刚来的时候，他妈的！踩到狗屎
曾任职位：小学有当过童子军
已婚或未婚：还在找个有钱的


Walao eh....imagine if I'm the one filling this form...wakekeke...sure die already...lolz...Hmm...should try it out next time when i'm filling out for my resume when applying for jobs =P

postponed.... =(

Sobz....my godmother just told us that the Hatyai will be postponed....hopefully it wont be after I got into uni....I sooooo wanna go Hatyai...food...fOoD...FOOD~~!!! Pray pray pray~~~~

Ahh...bro and sis coming back this Fri...then Sat we'll be going up to Fraser's Hill....staying overnight till Sun coming back down...to celebrate both Father's Day AND also my dad's bday which is on next Mon....Yeay!! Going to play archery and horse-riding there...wakekekeke =D

A godmother and two more godbrothers ^^

Ooo...i've a godmother now....hehehehe...she wanted to actually seeing that she always wanted me to be her daughter-in-law since I was a kid and got to know her son....but now her son has a gf...by the way...me and her son never got along well la...not that we're not on good terms or what...just that we don't talk much at all...or i should say....less than 3times..?? And since her son also agreed to that...and well...i've two more godbrothers now (him and his younger bro) other than Adrian and Edmund...wow.....hahahaha...at least there're more people caring for me now ^^

Ooo...zw will be having his last exam paper tomorrow...i wonder how he did for his papers la...and duno what had he thought up of for his decision on changing course....how I wish he can get out together on Thurs though...i so so so wanna watch Kung Fu Panda....heard from my sis that it's nice....btw..the movie's soundtrack songs are composed by Hans Zimmer...ooo....i soooo lurve Hans Zimmer's songs...alot of the Disney movies are composed by him...cool~~~

Ah...dear ernie will be leaving for U.S this Sunday....another thousand more miles further away from me....and for 2weeks internship there....i'll be so so so miss her....lucky there's still something call Facebook and email which is something we used to contact each other than sms-ing...misssss~~~~~~~~

2nd Hatyai Trip

WOohoO!!!! Going for a 2nd Hatyai trip...this time not going with my uncle anymore...instead with my mum's friend...or should I say...my foster mum ("kai ma").....hehehe....she just called up asking us whether we wanna go or not...and this time is 3days 2nights leh...wow!! I'm gonna grow fatter eating so much...but nice....something for me to remember before going off to uni....hehehe...aww...the roasted piglet!!! Lurve it!!! =p But this time only me and my mum going la...dad needs to work while my sis's back in Kajang studying...she need to attend to her lab works and stuffs la...well...hopefully will have a fun time there =) "Kai ma" so nice to me le...hehehe =D but i really do hope she'll stop teasing me about not being her daughter-in-law la...haiyoh...really paiseh if let her dear son heard about that....he has a gf already le....already met up with both family's parents also...don't drag me into this already la...be your "kai lui" ok with me already......

Ooo...ernie's leaving for U.S this Sunday...wish her a safe journey and hope she'll have a good time there too la...sooo envy her la for being able to go to U.S....grr~~~ kekekkeke ^^

Walao....got news from my co juniors yesterday...miraculously...both the junior and the senior groups got gold medal in their consecutive group competition leh...felt relieved la...well...at least...they have some results....but I sure doubt that they'll ever thank me la....not that i expected that...only they'll only remember me as the VERY-fierce ex senior....hehehehe =p (fuiyoh...i lecture a bit already saying that i'm fierce....i wonder if I scolded someone till she cries again....what impression will they have about me then leh...?? ;p)

Current mood: Feeling less frustrated...but still feeling disappointed coz i never expected such thing to happen due to our 11yrs long-time friendship...disappointed~~~

The Moment of Understanding...

He had been not answering my calls for the last few months...didn't sms much as we did last time also...and even if i called he asked someone to pick up the phone instead...i had been wondering the whole time what had I done that he suddenly treated me so cold...no signal...nothing! And he didn't try to explain even i've asked him loads of times...Today finally i got the answer...which is the answer that i've well expected to get from him...gosh...women's intuition is so always right...i threatened him to tell me the reason or else i'll keep on pestering him till he change his hp number i also don't care...and...well...he got a gf already and now in a relationship...if I've to guess...my guess is the girl is LSP...duno..another intuition =p And he asked me to get on with my own life...cheh...as if i'm not....who needs him anyway....he's the one who started all these first giving me all the shocks...and now he had to be the one to stop all these things and give me a good explaination...and...he did! Oh....i'm soooo relieved...at least I don't have to spend the time cracking my brain thinking what i've done to make him mad or what....and guess what....i'm back to being a single....woohooo~~~~!!! AND believe me...I AM getting on PERFECTLY FINE with me life...as if I'm missing you and wishing that we'll getting into a relationship..?? Such faaattttt chance...if so...we would have started way back those years la~~~ Ah...in case you've forgotten...let me refresh your memory...i've been single for years okay? Not as if i don't live well throughout those years...U even no brain than co's teacher advisor....ISH!!!

Kids and parents AND teacher advisors nowadays...

Last Friday went back to AMC with Liew Min to teach the co juniors...they'll be having competition this Saturday and Sunday in Penang...and because one of the juniors that i still know asked me for help...else i wouldn't have gone back to teach already coz i really cant stand the members' AND the teacher advisor's attitude...anyway....lectured them a bit on their attitude and their manner towards music...taught them ways to practise to achieve better results....well...at least this time i didn't scold nor punished anyone until they cry (which i did scolded one of them once till she cried =p) I know...its not my stand anymore to scold them anymore la...i've graduated 3yrs from AMC already....so....just did what i can la...Liew Min keep controlling my temper though...hehe...after that went to watch Narnia (my second time) with ah Min...1st time watching movie with her though...at least we have the same interest in everything...so i was never bored whenever i go out with her....

HOWEVER....

This happened today...my senior told me that there's one junior's parents complained to the teacher advisor that there's ex senior who punished her daughter...which we still don't know which ex senior she's referring to since there's a few of us who went back on different days....there's not all...the parents said that we punished her daughter by 体罚...which's something very serious....because not even teachers dare to use that kind of punishment on students if they can solve by using other resolutions....so how dare even us as students dare to use it on the juniors..?? Is the parent exaggerating?? Or is it the teacher advisor listened wrongly and tried to put all the blame onto us seniors?? No....we seniors came to a conclusion is that the teacher advisor's no brain...she just don't use her brain when she talks...and she never cares about co...even doesn't attend any of the committee meeting...ahh...i so don't know what's the purpose of putting her in charge of co since she doesn't do anything..err...practical before...except fot putting the blame on others while she herself always "shake legs" in the air-conditioned staffroom...

I'm pretty disappointed that such things would happen on us ex seniors...this shows that the time and energy spent on teaching the juniors were all wasted since some of them don't even show some appreciation...they just think that we seniors SHOULD go back to teach them...coz we're seniors!! Yeah...we should teach our juniors...but seriously...we've all graduated for like..3 or 4 yrs...and you still expect us to go back as you think that's our duty PLUS you still have seniors STILL in school AND also a fabulous erhu teacher?? Went back to teach already and complaints came...The most frustrating thing is that the teacher advisor told the juniors that:

1. We seniors should't be punishing the juniors in any

sort of way (which we didn't at all)

2. The juniors should not need to listen to what we seniors

said to them

WHY??

Because we EX seniors are OUTSIDERS!!!

Ahh...that is SOooo brilliant of her to say such thing...finally...something practical from her mouth..yet still no brain...still putting the blame on us...these things we're outsiders...but when come to they need donations...she'll be saying: "Hey...ur ex senior...you should donate more to help your juniors, you know? bla bla bla..." ISH~~!!!!

Anyway...my senior's going to Penang with them...so she'll look for a chance to explain things to her that we ex seniors really didn't do any punishment on the juniors and certainly we had never done that AND will never do that...but if i ever get to know that the junior who made the complaint comes from erhu group....she's gonna suffer alot...tortured by me....MUAHAHAHAHAA~~~~~~~~~~

爱情..可信吗？

我已经越来越不相信爱情了...更不相信人人所说的"天长地久"...因为对我来说...这世界上可信的男人已经少之又少了...真的不明白男人的头脑是怎么想的...嘴边常挂着 "我会爱你一生一世"....可是做的却是另一套...就因为婚后与妻子的感情淡了...就可以搞婚外情了吗?这是什么烂理由啊!!! 所以啊....我已经不再相信"永恒的爱情"这回事了...再说...男人最爱发誓的...可是当你把"誓"字拆开来...就变成了==> 打折的言语...那男人们发誓时...根本就是空口说白话....怎样值得我们女人去相信...怎么敢把自己的一生交给一个男人呢? 连我最相信的人都会做出对不起自己的妻子的事....真的让我对爱情的观念更迷惘了...我姐常跟我说...有男生追的时候就去追求这难得的机会...可是难道要练习我的心脏...让我一次又一次受到伤害吗? 我却宁愿自己一个人度过这一生...也不想以要依靠男人才能活的烂理由来折磨我的感情....一次的回忆已经足够我带着它走下我的人生了....总之...我妈说得对...在这个年纪就有了男友根本算不了什么...要有男友要明智地选....不要到头来后悔的反而会是自己...我可不想在读书期间想这些东西...免得毁了我的前途....到时候可真的要靠男人来养活我....

Hatyai Trip ^^

Last Fri had a trip to Hatyai with my family (except for my bro la since he's extremely busy with his work)..although the time we had there was short..only stayed for one night...but we really had a great time...not shopping (we don't approve that and we never like it!)...but our favourite pastime...EATING!!! Muahahahaha...gosh...i really have no idea how much food have i stuffed into my not-very-big stomach...and still can keep eating non stop from the moment we stepped into Hatyai =p We visited lots of places...especially buddha temples...which we're not interested in it...but anyway took lots of nice pictures of them...and also get to eat some food which cant be found anywhere else here in Malaysia...weird food combination...but nice =) On Saturday night...we ate all the way down a street all the time...from beef noodles to "yu piu" to all sorts of kuihs to a whole roasted piglet to all kinds of salad which includes the most famous kerabu salad(mango salad) to...err...ahh!! the mango rice...YUMMY!!!!! ^^ The kerabu salad caused us to eat in pain...because of the Thais chili padis...whoa...darn hot...till we drank don't know how many glasses of iced water...even the waitress also laughed at us when we asked for the water...but tell you what...Thai foods are HEAVEN~~~ how I wish I can go again...then go eat eat EAT~~!!! =P

Well...pics maybe i'll post later..or not post...IF I'm too lazy to do so...kekeke...AHH!!! I soooo miss Hatyai food!!!

Free~~!!!

Hehe...last Fri's my last day plus its also Teacher's Day...quite unexpectedly i received quite a number of presents...but honestly...i still prefer those presents given by the Poi Lam kids...at least they give it with their heart...although these presents are all expensive stuffs la...but all i mind is the heart that counts..not money and the price of the presents...if these students can afford these presents...its better if they donate the money to the victims of the earthquake in SiChuan le...the presents i received also consider OK already le if compared to some other teachers...some of them even get cakes (1KG type which costs almost $60) and even red wine!!! Omigosh!! I really got a shock when i see these kind of presents on the teachers' tables...anyway...its really a BIG relief that i'm teaching there anymore...too much stress from students and staffs...guess no one will miss me also la...they never believe in my teaching ability anyway coz i never do spoon-feeding to the students like what EVERY teachers in this school did...so....been spending this whole week with the same routine ==> sleep..eat..sleep =p Tomorrow..or i should say tonight midnight will be going to Hatyai with my parents and sis for holiday tim...hehe...food...fOoD...FOOD!!!! Muahahahahaa...i'm gonna be fatter le ^^

Last day of teaching

yAY!!! Tomorrow's my last day of teaching at Sam Tet primary school...almost 2months there already...but to me...its not such a satisfying teaching experience as what i've experienced back at Poi Lam primary school...its such a difference between top schools and those not-too-top schools as what society nowadays categorized them...the attitude of the students AND the parents are so much of difference...haiz....i really prefer to teach co-ed schools than teaching these naughty school boys that gave me sore throat almost everyday for yelling at them...and i broke my principle of not using on the cane..aiks!! I so so so hate using the cane...to scare them..?? ==>OK! but to cane them..?? ==> NOT OK AT ALL!!! But i also caned them very light only la IF compared to those crazy teachers...yucks...cant stand them la...as if whacking the students is such a pleasure to lepas geram on the students...AND also...the staffs....they're treating me as if i'm...err...an alien from outer space...?? As i've said...i've been there for almost 2months...yet only 2 or 3 teachers know wat's my surname....yupz...my SURNAME...not to mention only ONE teacher knows my christian name -.-" brilliant huh..they're way so not friendly..unlike those teachers in Poi Lam who are so friendly and helpful...but anyway...its such a relief leaving this school la...too many things happened...concerning the students' results and parents looking for me everyday...there're even 7 of them come looking for me yesterday @-@ too many stress...i can take it...but i just rather leave la...the teacher's coming back anyway...its my time to leave la actually...i jz wanna stay with my job in peace....and i always feel that as long as i've done what i should do...i don't care much about how others think la...Btw...tomorrow's Teacher's Day...i wonder whether i'll be receiving any presents..?? =p IF i get alot...other teachers'll sure be having sour grapes coz they always doubted about my teaching ability...and IF i don't get any...aiya...get or don't get also don't mean too much to me la anyway...i still appreciate those presents i got from those kiddos back in Poi Lam....hehehe =D

Helpless~~

I feel terribly helpless nowadays...there's stress from work...which i get surrounded by students' parents almost everyday coz of their precious sons' terrible Malay results...well...i'm their Malay teacher...so they assume that its my responsible when their results drop...and by the way, I'm a new, unexperienced teacher which i'm only teaching them while their actual Malay teacher is on leave to care for her newborn baby...PLUS these two std3 classes i'm teaching are GOOD classes...its what they say the two top classes among all the std3 classes..so....their parents just cant believe it when their sons' didn't get the results that expected...but apparently...its not my fault as what came out in the exam is what i've taught them 2weeks before the exam...and i've already told them the main points to study....although i keep feeling that its not fault and I don't have to care so much about it...but it's really stressing when parents' keep coming to you all day long...haiz........

And few weeks ago on a Saturday, 26th of April...this is the day where me, my sis and my mum escaped from Hell's gate...I'm not exaggerating here....but its the truth...It happened when we're on the highway on the way to a place near Taiping where my sis wanted to get some fish samples from the mangrove area there...then while driving...suddenly the car went totally out of control...it zigzagged from left to right lane and the steering wheel cant be controlled....me sitting in the back while my mum's in the passenger seat...what i remember clearly is when my sis was trying to control the car...the cars zoomed past us while avoiding us and luckily no car collided into us...there was even a bus that we somehow narrowly escaped. At last...our car bumped into the cement divider...grazed a bit of the side of the car...and stopped parallel to the divider although its right in the middle of the road. Three of us quickly grabbed our stuffs and jumped out of the car...ran to the opposite of the road to wait for help. There's a bunch of malay motorists on the opposite of the road where they came to ask us about our situation and even helped us ran to the phone nearby to call for PLUS. After about 10mins of waiting...and called PLUS already...suddenly this superbike knocked into our car...he jz bumped a bit la anyway...and while he was trying to regain his balance...there's one dark-coloured car knocked straight into him...man....the next scene is gross...this motorcyclist flew high up into the air and fell flat on his face...then a 2nd car came from behind and crashed into the superbike (without the rider as he was already on the road)...the superbike glided for a few hundred metres where it finally stopped beside the road and burned instantly...The rider unfortunately died instantly with his back of the skull badly crushed and his face badly smashed...it was SUCH a nightmare...for the next few hours we spent our time at the Taiping police station where my sis gave her police report and did some tests for urine and blood...while me and my mum spend the time relating whatever happened again and again to the police...THE THING IS...NO ONE SAW THAT STUPID DARK-COLOURED CAR!!!!!!! That car jz did the hit-and-run thing and probably during the confusion...no one saw it except me and my sis...my mum didn't dare to see so she didn't see the whole accident at all...so...the inspector's kind of suspicious about what we see until i spotted the blue paint on our car where the car hit us...and finally there's some clue to what they should be looking for...ahh...i missed out one point...that motorcyclist appeared to be from the royal family...haiz...big deal....now praying that we don't have to attend court...it'll be so much of a trouble...Well..although we do feel guilty as it was really part of our fault that the motorcyclist died...but...looking at another point...if its not him...then it'll be the 3 of us...God really guided us that day...and thank God for his blessings for us...else we wouldn't be alive to see those people we treasured...

Another thing which i nvr told anyone...not even Sze-En in Aussie...i really feel helpless in my family recently...for a few months already actually...everyday there seemed to be a time bomb where it'll explode suddenly without any warning...and when it explodes...it'll be World War 3...my sis's studying in KL while my bro's in Penang working...i'm the only one at home...sometimes i really feel like escaping to KL to stay with my sis temporarily...or even quit studying....coz i fear that whatever i fear most will happen when i'm not around with my parents...i rather stay at home...but....haiz....i really dont know what i should do...I'm just so so scared every single day...and i don't know who should i say all these to...except to put them down in this blog...dear Ernie...ur too far from me although you really would sure to be the 1st one i'm going to share with....

sick...sIcK...SICK~~!!!!!

Haiz...have been having fevers every 4hours ever since last Thurs...which today is the 6th day -.-" But today had been much worse...woke up feeling extremely tired....then started having headaches...so slept through it after finishing the housework before going to skul...woke up feeling better although i've rashes on my chest but that time still not much so decided to still go to school...however felt bad when in school....having frequent chest aches..headaches again....so i asked for medic leave to go home...went home and slept for 4 hours straight...think tomorrow wont be any better so probably taking leave again le =S These all caused by either viral allergic or i'm allergic to the antibiotic that i was taking these few days according to my dad...sigh...i so so so hate being sick...and some of the syllabus i havent finish for the boys for their mid-semester exam leh.....yikes!! Oh ya...speaking of school...havent mentioned that after i left Poi Lam primary school...i was hired again by Sam Tet primary school since 27th of March and will be continuing till 16th of May...but the workload's hectic...man...i teach 8 different classes ranging from standard 1 to standard 3....and the subjects i'm teaching are malay, english and arts...ARTS!!!!!! ARGH~~~ its been sooooo long time since i learnt drawing...forgotten almost all the skills di...but lucky i'm teaching the std1 kiddos arts...so okla....jz dump them the work mentioned in the syllabus...and learn to control the class okay already ;p And yeah....stress sure got...else i wouldn't have started my fever....fever starts with sore throat first...which was caused by yelling too much at the students...as usual....i keep to my policy that i never use the cane on the students...so....practically....i'm again the only teacher who never brings in the cane to class...the cane on the teacher's table is gathering dust now....hehehehe =P I was asked to prepare this time's mid-semester's english paper for standard 2...finished preparing already....hope its not too difficult for their standard....anyway...the higher superiors will be inspecting them first before sending in for printing....so not to worry so much i guess....Currently busy downloading stuffs from youtube....internet's FAST....seemed to be the modem problem last time when my internet's extreme slow....so now taking the chance la =P

Alot of things on my mind...

Last week's Tuesday just got my STPM results...basically considered is good....but not good enough for me who wants to study medicine...so...not much hope for local uni...applied for private universities instead...and also Russia's universities...comparatively Russia's sure is alot cheaper than private unis back here in Malaysia...but parents kind of reluctant to let me go so far since i'm not such an independant girl....hehe...i admit that....but I prefer to go Russia...one of the reason is money problem....school fees here in private unis are above RM200,000 while Russia's unis is less than half of the amount even though studying in Russia takes up 6yrs and studying in private unis here is 5yrs....yea....everyone may say that me so rich sure can afford the money....but that's not the case...okay? I don't understand...to my friends out there...does being rich or poor make such big difference...?? Just stop the sarcasm of saying i'm rich sure can afford this and that!!! I hate that!! I hate everyone saying to me that just coz my dad's a doctor and that makes me a rich girl...i'm NOT...okay? Its not like i'm THAT rich...I want my dad to work less for the next few yrs instead of working hard just to pay for my school and living fees....he's getting old...and i rather save up the money and let my parents go overseas for a holiday instead....second reason is I would rather learn to be independant now than later even though i may feel homesick (that's for sure)...I feel hopeless now....indecisive....duno which way i should go...anyway...going for the UCSI interview on Mon....then only decide later la....think i'll still insist on goin Russia...its not like i'm not coming back anyway....gonna try persuade my parents....hope my decision's correct though....soooo bothering me....